When I got to last Sunday's NY Times Book Review section today I found a whole-page article on "The Book Boys of Mumbai," and how they've impacted the book-selling industry there. The Book Boys of Mumbai - NYTimes.com Good preparation for what we'll see. As was Behind the Beautiful Forevers, the I-can't-believe-it's-nonfiction National Book Award winner this year. It led me to sign up for a Reality Tours guided visit of one of the Mumbai slums on this trip as well as a tour of the New Delhi train station area where boys live on the streets, led by a fellow who lived there.
I've been reading more about Indian customs in the Enjoying India book, and thinking about her recommendations. It may be hard for me to remember I should avoid shaking hands with men, and Kenneth with women. (But I do have a strong memory of a Muslim wedding reception we attended: Kenneth said hello to an obviously-Muslim guest in the parking lot and stuck out his hand to shake hers; she said she would, but advised him it would be inappropriate inside.)
Since I think one of our grand hotels has a garland-welcoming tradition, it was frustrating to read this: It is traditional to greet guests with a garland....The garland is usually accompanied by a tilak (application of sandalwood paste or a red powder on the forehead). Whenever you are given a garland, the proper response is to take it immediately off to show humility. Do you think they'll let me keep it?
Then there is lots of advice about which hand to use when, and a whole chapter called "Mind Your Feet." In India, everyone who is physically able to do so uses the left hand for toilet functions, so it is considered unclean. Avoid eating and giving or taking anything with the left hand....Never point your feet at any person or at any religious shine or image of a deity, especially the soles of the feet, because doing so is a great insult. The feet are considered to be unclean— and shoes are even worse than bare feet....Always apologize if your shoes or feet accidentally touch another person. This apology doesn’t have to be verbal, though. Indians often make this kind of apology with a little gesture, first extending the palm of the right hand towards the person and then bringing it back towards the heart. Can I learn all this by Thursday?
This advice on temple visits sounds a little tricky: When visiting temples and gurudwaras, you may be offered some holy water or other forms of prasad (offerings blessed in the temple, usually some form of sweets), which you should not refuse. Always accept prasad with both hands together, with the right a little on top of left. However, in the interest of health, you may want to do as many Indians do, which is to touch the water to your lips and then put it on top of your head. You can also do this with milk, though of course the result is a bit messy. Unfortunately, drinking either of these can be enough to cause a severe bout of Delhi Belly.
More advice: When walking around a temple or shrine, always go around it in a clockwise direction, keeping it to your right. And Leave all leather items in your room whenever you are going to any religious shrine or ceremony.
I can't say I'm looking forward to the bargaining that is essential for so many transactions in India. But I'm less uncomfortable than I have been in the past. The author suggests these guidelines: If the price seems almost reasonable, counter-offer a quarter of the amount and settle for half or two-thirds of the asking price. If the asking price seems totally outrageous, offer maybe a tenth or even a twentieth of the amount, and go back and forth several times before settling.
And this may be the toughest advice for me to follow: If you are a woman used to giving orders or generally being assertive, try to tone it down a bit. Indian women are usually not so outspoken, and you will do well to follow their lead. Even the most powerful Indian women know how to use soft, sweet words get what they want.
Here's the citation for the book I'm reading: Viharini, J. D. (2010-05-31). Enjoying India: The Essential Handbook. Tara Satara Press. Kindle Edition.
And here are two photos, taken from my phone - of the tiny screen on the plane on the way to Ireland. I couldn't resist the opportunity to see The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel a second time. After all, it helped us make the decision to make this trip! Poor photos, but they'll remind you to laugh, I bet.
